What a puzzle!

I find myself today wondering what ever happened to my sleep?  Yesterday, Jackson had ear tubes inserted.  While this a very minor surgery compared to some others my friends' children have had to face, it was a big deal to me because it was my kid.  We've not had a full night's rest since Jackson came into our world and turned it upside down 91/2 months ago.  The ONLY way I make it through a day is God's supernatural strength and energy.  We are promised incredibly improved sleep due to the fact that the fluid should be off his ears now.  Last night we woke up 4 times with him.  

I'm not sure why God has sent me this complete puzzle of a child, except that it keeps me seeking Him for answers.  I'm constantly asking God for wisdom and understanding concerning this little one.  He completely baffles me most days and more often than not, I'm just tired of the effort it takes to "figure him out."  Yet when he smiles, it lights up my world.  I'm wondering if this is how I make my Father in Heaven feel.  I frustrate Him more than any other child He has.   I am undoubtedly in His "high maintenance" file.  Yet, when I am happy, He delights over me.  He delights over me regardless of my mood or obedience.  Simply because I'm His.  How incredible.  How humbling.  How awesome is my God.

The Noise

Lately I have been more than a little frustrated with the body of Christ.  From not taking stands on issues nationally to more personal relationship issues, I'm just stunned by the lukewarm temperature of the Bride of Christ.  It makes me want to scream "DOES ANYONE CARE THAT SOULS ARE BEING LOST TO THE ENEMY EVERY DAY???!!"

Please don't think that I'm throwing stones at glass houses.  I count myself guilty just as much as the next believer.  We get so caught up in our own lives that we fail to notice the miracles God is orchestrating all around us.  Miracles such as daily victory over strongholds, a missed accident (that could have been fatal), having someone on our minds seemingly out of the blue, rolling in the floor tickling your child, smelling the sweet scent of baby hair while you rock a precious little soul to sleep.  If we would stay focused on Christ and what he's doing every minute of our lives, the enemy would absolutely NOT get as much victory as we turn over to him.  

Satan's deception is to get us focused on all the noise in our lives.  The economy, that person who lied about you, your personal struggles with finances, the fact that you can't figure out how you're going to cook the chicken tonight.  I'm living proof that your life can get noisy.  Here's a perfect example.  The other day I ate lunch with my kids and a dear friend and her children.  Anyone who knows my 9 month old knows that he has the most high-pitched, shrill squeal of any child you've ever heard and will probably surpass anything else you'll hear in your lifetime.  Toward the end of the time we were there, the squealer was getting sleepy, thus the squealing commenced.  Now, I'm slightly used to this behavior (although you never quite get used to something THAT loud) so it didn't affect me quite as much as all the other poor patrons in the restaurant.  Thank Jesus it was just fast food!  Other restaurants might have taken our picture and tacked it up with a sign instructing employees not to allow us in again.  The reactions were obvious from everyone, yet everyone's reaction was different.  One group of gentlemen just laughed and seemed to think it wasn't a big deal.  I was embarrassed.  My friend was sympathetic.  One couple just got angry and left.

This got me thinking.  I've been bothered by the "noise" in my Christian life for some time now.  I feel like I'm so busy and there are so many things demanding my attention that I can't even hear God when he shouts, let alone spend time quietly waiting for Him to speak.  But just like my son's squeal, when the noise gets loud enough it can literally deafen you momentarily or even, in extreme cases, permanently until the noise ceases.  We can react to our noise in as many different ways as the patrons in that restaurant.  And how God requires us to act might be different depending on the circumstances.  

Maybe the noise is sin.  He may demand that we get mad and leave whatever the sin is.  Maybe the noise is busy-ness.  That could require anything from leaving to laughing, then digging in and holding on.  Whatever the noise, if it is so deafening that it causes us to miss God's voice, it needs to be silenced.  For me right now, the noise is my own thoughts.  I have many decisions to make.  Some of them may change the course of my relationship with some people.  Some of them have potential to free me up in areas, while requiring so much more of me in others.  All of them are hard.  But I know once I've heard God's definitive voice on the matter, the follow-through will be peaceful and bless me and others beyond my wildest dreams.

What's the noise in your life preventing God from doing for you or through you?  Are you having a deaf moment or have you had some permanent damage that needs God's healing touch to repair?  

"Father, thank you for loving us so much you can't get enough of us!  Help us to feel the same way about you.  I'm crazy about you, Lord and I want to hear you when you speak.  Help me to remove the noise that's preventing me from hearing the sweetest thing on earth - your voice.  Give me the strength to give up things that are good, but not necessarily in your plan.  Give me the grace to offer reconciliation when it needs to be offered.  Give me your mercy when dealing with the noisemakers in my life.  In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen."

Birthdays and new beginnings

Yesterday we held Brady's 7th birthday party.  Of course, being the momma, I remember the day he was born like yesterday.  He was SO precious and a really great baby.  Frankly, he's been a really great kid.  He is very compliant and gives me very little reason to be puzzled or frustrated.  He makes me laugh every single day and he's got a great personalitly.  I am thankful every day for a blessing like him.  

This got me thinking.  In a couple months we will be holding Jackson's 1st birthday party.  My first year with him has not been the wonderful experience full of sweet memories that Brady's was.  Jackson is a very puzzling, rather difficult and needy baby.  But THANK GOD he's got a smile that will melt your heart and he's just so darn cute.  I have felt most of the year that I didn't know what I was getting in to by having a second child and I should have stuck with my gut feeling not to.

But God is faithful.  I was obedient to Him alone when I told Him that I would be Ok with it if He gave me another child.  God reminded me that He didn't need my permission - He's God.  But it really helps matters if we are obedient to Him.  It makes our lives so much smoother.  God has reminded me this week that children are a treasure and every single life on this earth matters to Him because He created it.  I love my sons.  They are so unique and so rewarding individually.  And it's just makes a mom's heart leap to see Brady play with Jackson and care for him so tenderly.  God is good - all the time!